Grumpy?!?

Would you like to know a sure fire way to start a fight with me, or piss me off?  Ask me if I’m done being pissy. Or in the case of my Hubby this morning, tell me “Go home and get some more sleep and maybe you’ll wake up in a better mood.”  It ranks up there with “Are you ready to be calm and rational?” Or “Are you done overreacting?”

In all honesty, I wasn’t in a bad mood this morning. No, I wasn’t bubbly and happy, but I’m not a morning person so no one is going to get bubbly and happy first thing this morning.  I was extra tired this morning because, even though I know I have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn, I still stayed up reading later than I should have.  That’s totally on me and I wasn’t taking it out on anyone. I was not in a bad mood.

Maybe he thought I was being grumpy because he had just come out of the bathroom and I practically ran him over to get to the potty.  I had been trying to get ready while waiting on him to come out, and I was mostly focusing on not peeing myself. I was not in a bad mood.

Maybe he thought I was being grumpy because I didn’t use my words when he was standing in the middle of the room blocking my way to the dresser. I did a shooing motion with my hands to get him to back up a step or two so I could get by. Then he explained that his knee was locked, and I was like “Oh, ok, move when you can please.” (Not my exact words, but I know my words weren’t grumpy.) I was not in a bad mood.

Maybe he thought I was being grumpy because I screamed his name as he turned a corner in the car and his drink proceeded to spill on me, but my hands were full so I couldn’t do anything about it. I understand he couldn’t do anything about it either, but my reaction was to cry out at him.  I wasn’t mad. I was not in a bad mood.

Dropping him off at work is one of my least favorite things to do. Not just because I have to get up and out the door by five in the morning, but because I have to leave him for the day. I enjoy spending time with him. As much time as he will let me have, I want it all. So leaving him at work makes me sad every morning.

Except this morning when he leaned in to give me a kiss and he followed it up with “Go home and get some more sleep. Maybe you’ll wake up in a better mood.” Instant grump. At that point I became grumpy. Then I intentionally snapped at him. I lost my temper.  He kept hinting at thinking I was in a foul mood, but I wasn’t. I was tired.  So when I left him at work, he didn’t hear my parting remarks of “You’ll be lucky if I wake up in a ‘better mood’ and come pick you up.”

Sometimes he jokes with me and I know he’s joking, but I just don’t have the energy to joke back. Sometimes he jokes with me and I don’t know he’s  joking and I get mad. This morning it was the first one.  I thought I was coming across as my normal self, but all he saw was a grumpy person.

I wish instead of saying “Maybe you’ll wake up in a better mood.” He would have said, “Baby are you okay?” or “You seem off, did you sleep well last night?” I know there have been days when I thought he was in a bad mood and being grumpy.   Does he remember some of those times when I approached him to see if everything was okay?  “Baby, is everything okay? Did I do something to make you mad?”

I’m not saying there have been times when I have said “You really need to stop being an ass.” I’m not perfect. I do snap at him. I do lose my patience  and just want to yell at him sometimes because he grumps around like an angry dog barking at everyone.  There are times when I only have snotty retorts and grumbled remarks for all in my path.

We both have our moments of grumpy. I just wished this morning would have gone differently, if he thought I was grumpy. I wish I could’ve gotten my good-bye kiss with a side of sweet concern.  I don’t like that I left him this morning angry. He, of all people , knows that a sure fire way to start a fight with me is to tell me that I need an attitude adjustment. Usually, I give him one, but it’s never the one he wants. Instead of “I love you have a good day.” He gets “You’ll be lucky if I come pick you up.”

So I’ll say it now, because I’m not in a bad mood, “I love you. I hope you have a good day. I’ll see you this afternoon.”